This summer was both wonderful and terrible at the same time.

I had such a lovely time at horseback riding school! It wasn't as eventful as last year's, but I made friends with a lot more of the wranglers and became less shy. My parents also came to watch me barrel race, which was awesome; they rarely get to see me ride. Before riding school I spent a week with my best friend Danni, we worked the ranch and wrangled the cows while her parents were gone. This was so fun! Being a cowgirl for a week kicked ass. It was also the first time I rode bareback and without a helmet... Being a looser like me, that was the first and only time I'm riding without my helmet on.

After Riding School I was put on a plane to go to the Cadet training center in Gimli, Manitoba! I was selected to go to the Basic Aviation Technology and Aerospace course there. It was a truly amazing experience... It changed my life.

This change was both in a good and bad way. I've matured a lot over the three weeks I spent in training, and really grew up. I have a firm hold on who I am and what I stand for. I didn't understand it when I first got back; I was scared, and looked to my best friend for guidance. She told me that I had grown up. I don't like it very much; I feel so different, it's very intimidating.

This summer was cause for a great loss... I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 4-5 months. But I suppose this is for the better, as she was seriously starting to hurt me. There was never enough communication and she seemed to always push me away for other people. I feel used, broken, and stepped on, but I'm a strong girl, and I can pull through. I still haven't heard from her, even though she verbally promised to let me know what was going on when I last called- that only started a shitstorm, including her mother yelling at mine for a good fifteen minutes.

Now that I think about it, I'm sort of glad things turned out this way. She dragged me down more than she lifted me up. I'm rather sure she was more in love with the idea of being with me than actually me- I never felt I was good enough, or I could never catch her attention for longer than ten minutes, and she hid a lot of things from me. I seriously hope I never get into a relationship like that again; I've never been so hurt in my life.

But alas, life goes on, let it be. I'm a better person for seperating myself from her. I know now what I want in a relationship, and I'm not going to let that happen to me again. I most certainly need someone more mature and someone more grounded to reality. Love shouldn't hurt, and it most certainly shouldn't be built in a fantasy world.

On that note, I won't be attending any more cons, or cosplaying at all. I've become so wrapped up in reality, I see no benefit to participate in such things. Not to be a snob, I just have other things to do with my time- Cadets! And choir. I finally joined my school's choir, after much debate. I love it so much.

--Anna